When you brother dies you fall into a supernatural kind of sorrow.I cant help my eyes that weep.My thoughts that wander looking for him.I am here in the certainty while he is now a part of the mystery.I want to write what I feel but it is part of the falling.Now it has to be automatic writing with no speed bump thoughts.Just move forward as fast as I can until I reach a sort of somber zen and be okay about it .I will never be at ease about it. will just take cold breaths and listen to the mourning birds sing in the trees that have grown in my brain.