Secret Agent Puppy-A McDonut Tale
Hoping this will post. No news, but I have many of these silly little stories. Hoping thar everyone is well.
Secret Agent Puppy
Puppy McDonut is well known from the books of his thrilling adventures and his many appearances on the Oprah Show. But there is a side of Puppy that has remained secret for good reason, as you will soon learn. His is a complicated tale, as are so many episodes in the constant battle between good and evil. Snoop McDonuts is a popular meeting spot for people from around the world. Its international reputation has exploded with their Nobel Prize doughnut award. Accordingly, Snoop McDonuts has become a hotbed of international intrigue. Oligarchs are aware of their tattered reputations, yet constantly yearn for the respect that they will never earn. In a previous adventure, they had kidnapped the heiress to the kitten throne in an attempt to bribe the authorities and gain control of Snoop McDonuts, the world’s most delicious one. In the aftermath, Annie and Misha had created the first Nobel Prize winning doughnut so that children everywhere would always love this special treat. The Oligarchs were furious and have never forgiven the McDonuts. They have constantly schemed to destroy this temple of snacks. The secret service is increasingly aware of these events and must have an agent within. Who better than our international ambassadors, Puppy McDonut and the Choonie-Moonies? The agency knows Puppy’s reputation as “such a good dog.” Puppy is welcome everywhere.
The Agency has sent their top recruiter to watch the McDonuts and find a way to approach them. One day, Puppy is playing in the park with the Choonie-Moonies. Coyote has run away to Mexico seeking fried chicken, but when she has spent her allowance she will return. Puppy has been running furiously and chasing his ball. While it is true that most dogs will fetch, this Puppy has refined his skills until he is an expert in all the techniques. The sun is so warm and the grass is so soft, that one by one the Choonies have fallen asleep and their gentle snores sniggle across the grass. At the park bench, Puppy stares forlornly at his ball. He is a lively one and ready to play all day. A shadowy figure approaches. “Don’t worry Puppy. I am one of the good guys. Let me throw your ball and afterward I will tell a tale that I am sure will interest you.” Yippeeeee! Puppy is off in mad pursuit. It is here when the wild beast in him is truly released. The other dogs pause breathlessly to study his skills. Oh what joy! Again and again Puppy catches the rascally ball and happily returns for another go. Such a good dog! After many fine chases, he is ready to sit beside the bench and listen to the stranger.
“Puppy. This is unpleasant to relate, but the world is alive with villains. They only know greed and are unable to see beyond their petty schemes. Most are mere thievery, but occasionally these scoundrels plot some deed that might be truly harmful to everyone. This is where our agency must intervene. You may ask, why would the secret service be interested in doughnuts? It is a serious crime in any country to impersonate a Nobel Prize doughnut. Furthermore, the Snoop franchise is a source of national pride and this delicious treat has spread over the entire planet. Small wonder we protect its’ reputation. But, Snoop McDonuts has become a hotbed for international scoundrels plotting misdeeds. Now you are familiar to everyone who patronizes Snoop McDonuts. Who better to be our eyes and ears than the incomparable Puppy McDonut. I know this might sound dangerous, but we will train you to recognize all the tricks.” Like the Choonies, Puppy is a deep patriot. He listens intently with growing concern. “Goodness. How terrible. Of course I will help.” “Thank you Puppy. I knew you were the right man for the job. We will talk later. You will be trained to deal with the many ways that scoundrels plot their misdeeds. Please include the Choonie-Moonies in this mission. I know that they are wise to the ways of the world. We will meet again soon.” And that is how Puppy and the Choonies came to be enrolled in Spy School.
The rookie spies are well trained by the experts. The Agency also builds a perfect spy den for the secret band. There is a little door that can only be opened by Puppy or a Choonie-Moonie. The door is under booth #4 of Snoop McDonuts. A tiny elevator takes them to the Spy Den. Inside the Spy Den is a powerful radio to contact HQ and of course, comfy beds and tasty snacks so our furry spies will always be rested and ready. Secret passages will allow them to scatter into all parts of the city. Our little McDonuts are now major players in a shadowy game and trained to serve their beloved Ukraine. Now our super agents are always alert for any unusual chatter. They have heard rumor of a devious plot hatched by the Oligarchs. But so far, no details have emerged in support. There is always a busy murmur at Snoop McDonuts. However, the Choonie-Moonies have spent centuries separating the ordinary voices of the forest from the truly alarming ones. One day, much later, the Choonies are serving delicious meals to customers on the patio. Finally they hear the beginnings of a sinister plot. “What? Doughnut tampering. This affects not only our café, but the security and reputation of the entire nation. Quickly. Get SuperAgent Puppy. I have a plan brothers. Even villains cannot resist a doggy with a ball. Let Puppy come to the table and stare misty-eyed at these thugs. They will surely play with him. He can follow and disclose their hideout. He is in our secret Spy Den monitoring communications. Fetch him at once. We will watch these scoundrels.” “Hey, what are you staring at you little fur balls? Begone! This is private business. Never trust Choonie-Moonies fellows. They are nosy little do-gooders.” No harm done because the seeds have already been sown. Strumbuttle has fetched Puppy and his bright new spy ball. Puppy approaches and begins his act. “Look lads. The doggy wants to play. Drop Puppy. Drop.” And off he goes joyfully chasing his wonderful ball down the street to the delight of the patrons of every outdoor café in the city center. “Look. It’s Puppy McDonut. What a good dog!” The villains begin to leave, but they are walking, so their hideout must be nearby. Puppy continues to return with his ball and the thugs are enjoying their Puppy play so much that they continue to throw it as they walk. Eventually they reach their destination. “Goodness little fellow. That was fun. I haven’t played with a puppy since I was a little boy. Sorry little friend. We have arrived at our work. Back to your café now. That’s a good dog.” What a clever Puppy. He has discovered their warehouse. He barks twice, wags his bushy tail, picks up his ball and trots back to McDonuts.
Meanwhile, Frumpbart had entered the secret passage under booth #4 to inform the authorities. Frumbart takes the elevator down to the Spy Den and contacts Security. “HQ, this is agent McD 001. Yes. Another doughnut plot. No sir. These are different villains. Puppy will discover their hideout and perhaps their intentions. Yes sir. Agent Stealth Puppy. Code name: Wild Beast. Alias Super Puppy. He will discover their location and perhaps their evil scheme. Yes. We will let you know immediately. Over and out. Hmmm. Perhaps a little snack. This spying is hungry work!“ Despite their training, the Choonies have been flailing wildly around the café as they wait and worry for Puppy’s safety. Never fear Choonies! This one is a professional. He is back and eager to tell his story. “Choonies. Choonies. I have discovered their lair. It is a big warehouse near here. They must expect a large amount of loot from this caper. We played ball until they arrived at the hideout. They may be villains, but they are wonderful at tossing the ball. We had such fun. I was not inside, so I know nothing of their evil plans. What has HQ told you Choonies?” “I am afraid that we are on our own for now. Their other agents are too well known. Haruuumph. How can we infiltrate their den?” “Oh, that is very simple Frumpbart. We had so much fun chasing my pretty new ball. I will wait outside the warehouse tomorrow morning with my ball. When they see me, I know they will play again. I will listen to their plan and know their intent. Villains will trust a cute little dog not to squeal. It is so simple Choonies.” “How right you are Puppy! Simple is better. Of course it will work. Such a clever Puppy!”
It is a pleasant Tuesday morning and Puppy lurks outside the Kiev warehouse with a prized ball. Eventually a villain comes outside for some air. “It’s the cute little Puppy again and he has his ball. Come inside shaggy one and we will toss it for you. Our warehouse is empty until our big shipment arrives.” He is in! Such a clever Puppy. They take turns throwing the ball for our daring agent. Even blackguards cannot resist a Puppy and a ball. This is no ordinary ball. This is the Superball 5000, built for Puppy from his own design. It is also a recording and transmission device with a range of 3 Km. Such a clever little dog! The Stealth Ball hears every word. Oh no! A shipment arrives tomorrow in Odessa at the harbor. We must find the location. The future of the doughnut depends upon it. Eventually the villains prepare to leave. “Come along little one. We have other places to go. Such a good dog.” Of course our clever McDonut has a plan. The villains all scratch Puppy’s ears and say, “Later Puppy. This was fun. Come back anytime.” As the truck pulls away, Puppy flings his Stealth Ball into the back. “This will track these heathens. Don’t worry pretty ball. We will be reunited soon.”
Puppy rushes back to warn the Choonies of the devious plot. They huddle in consultation. “Brothers. I have uncovered a grievous misdeed. We must help. The future of the McDonut family is at stake. It appears that Oligarchs have baked a ship load of inferior treats that they have branded as Snoop McDonuts. They will arrive tomorrow at the harbor in Odessa. The Oligarchs wish to sell inferior doughnuts at premium prices. There is a fortune to be made. This will harm the reputation of the Snoop café. It will be a triumph for the villains. These doughnuts have inferior ingredients. They do not understand our baking process. And they will be frozen for shipping. Unforgivable! I was appalled. Their agents will distribute them across the land. They must not leave Odessa, or it may destroy our culinary icon.” “Gaaack! Gaaack! Gaaack! What, what, what! Counterfeit McDonuts. A ship load! Odessa! Tomorrow!” “Shhhh, brothers. We are supposed to be “secret agents.” Cover for me. I must go to the Spy Den and inform headquarters. The other three Choonies attempt to distract customers at booth four as Frumpbart enters the elevator. “Where on earth is he going?” “Uh, urrrr. Don’t worry. That’s where we keep the hooch.” “The hooch? Ha, ha, ha, ha. You Choonies are so funny. We love this café.” Frumpbart rings HQ. “HQ. Agent Frumpbart. Over.” “Copy agent. What news?” “We have uncovered the nefarious plan; Puppy again, of course.” He quickly explains the circumstances. “Hmmmm. We must ask a lot of you. We dare not expose our other agents in this port. We must rely on you Choonies and the Puppy to find their hideout in Odessa. Can you do that?” “Har. We are Choonie-Moonies. We are the ancient ones. Puppy is the bravest little dog in the land. Of course we can.” “Thank you agent. Make your way to Odessa. Our spy will contact you there. We have one agent in Odessa who is very good at tracking reprobates. He will begin scouting the docks. His name is Samuel Sebastian Huffington the third, but we call him Sammy Squirrel. He is royalty and down on his luck, but a very resourceful agent.” “Gaaaack! You are joking! Sammy Squirrel. We are not enemies, but certainly not friends.” “Choonie. He is just a harmless squirrel. “Obviously, you have never tried napping in the warm sunshine with those silly ones chattering incessantly and tossing twigs at you. Scoundrels!” “Well you will not be napping in the sunshine. You will be on a mission.” “Harumph. Choonies and squirrels? What next?” “Sammy is a professional. Good luck soldiers. Over.” “Copy that. Frumpbart over and out. Frumpbart returns and relays the news. “Well lads. We are for it. We will travel to Odessa and contact an agent, but otherwise we are on our own. Bravely now chums. But we must do an unfortunate thing. It is such short notice and our café is so busy. Poor Annie will be run over. I know no other way than to just ask. Wish me luck.”
“Annie, Annie, Annie. We are so sorry. We must leave for Odessa immediately. It is a matter of national security!” Annie has noticed the unease amongst her family. “National security my little rascals? Hmmmm. You have all been co-conspirators lately. But if you have taken on a mission it must be important. Say no more. I will not pry. We trust you completely. Now who will be in your merry band? Goodness. All of you. It must be very dire. All I ask is that you please take good care of Puppy. He is just a little dog. Our friends and regular customers will help. Do your duty ancient ones.” “Yippee! Hooray for Annie! We will work extra hard when we return.”
“Let us don our leathers and begin our journey. There is no time to lose. Bring the Spy Packs. We will need them. Here is your leather jacket and your headband Puppy, the one you like with the skulls. Coyote wishes to be on the hunt. “No Coyote. You must be our eyes and ears at the Spy Den. You are a trickster, but far too unusual on the city streets.” “Hah. Everyone notices my beautiful coat. It is fitting for a future queen.” “Of course Coyote. That is the reason.” The Choonies do not chuckle because they love their impulsive little sister. “When Puppy locates the hideout in Odessa, we will contact you. You must Arooooooooh three times to signal that the game is afoot.” She is trained to paw the big red button that keys the radio to headquarters from the Spy Den. Clever Coyote. “Onward lads. We are cleared with Annie. We will travel on our motorcycles with Puppy in my sidecar. When you are old enough for your license Puppy, you shall have your own motorcycle. Settle in now. The integrity of Snoop McDonuts depends on us. Onward it is!” These Choonie-Moonies know no fear. Puppy is very excited. But it is not for the adventure ahead, The Choonies have promised they will stop for yummy hot dogs at a roadside gas station. “Shhhhh. Don’t tell Coyote or she will never agree to stay.” The road to Odessa is famous for the most delicious hot dogs in the land. Vrooom, vroom, vroom. They rocket through the streets of Kiev and tear up the highway. “There it is Puppy,” Frumpbart shouts. “A palace of hot dogs. Hooray for Mr. Grill!” They are quickly refueled and back on the road, savoring each delicious burp as they blast along. In no time, they are in the jewel of the Black Sea. They pull off in a circle and Frumbart relays their instructions. “We are to find Shevchenko Park and the agent will contact us. Set the GPS lads.” Vroom, vroom, vroom. They are the talk of the town. “Mommy, Mommy. I saw Choonie-Moonies.” “Shhh. Such nonsense!”
“Here we are. Be alert agents. The Agency has insisted, no sleeping in the sun. Grumble, grumble, grumble.” They settle in and eye the surroundings. And there, sauntering towards them is Sammy Squirrel. What a sight! Such an elegant little squirrel. He is wearing a little tuxedo and looking so dashing in his evening wear. “Hello agents. I am Samuel Sebastian Huffington the third. Forgive my formal attire, I have an engagement tonight that I must attend. Don’t be alarmed. Next time you see me I will look like any scruffy street squirrel. You are the Choonie-Moonies of course. My goodness. Puppy McDonut. A pleasure. I love your books. My spies at the harbor indicate an important cargo will arrive at noon tomorrow. It will be moved to a warehouse just off the docks. We will need some fancy sleuthing to discover the location. Let us meet here tomorrow at 9 AM and make our plan. In the meantime, enjoy the hospitality of our beautiful city. A demain mes amis.”
Frumpbart has an address for a safe house near the harbor. “Come lads. We must be rested. Tomorrow could be dangerous.” Snark, snark, snork, sniggle. Five voices singing in snoring harmony. A true symphony of sleep. They awake ready for action. “To the park brothers.” Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. The sun is so warm and the park so peaceful. “Where is that Sammy? Look at that scruffy gang of rodents. Bah. Squirrels. Can’t trust them.” “What. Choonies. You do not recognize your colleague? I am Sammy.” One of the ragged bunch is beside them. “Gaack. Sammy? Impossible. You are a derelict, not a prince.” “Well lads. I am very good at what I do. Let us make our plan. The warehouse must be close, but there are so many of them. We have detected muffled bleeps from Puppy’s Stealth Ball, but nothing definite. If we only knew what one of them looked like?” “Oh, but I do. I have played ball with every one of them.” “Then that won’t work. They will know you Puppy.” “Ah, but I am also a master of disguise.” Puppy rolls in leaves and dirt. He puts on his black eye patch as he has been taught in spy school. Now he looks like any scurvy sea dog on shore leave. “Brilliant Puppy. Scout the docks. We will stand watch and follow you to the hideout when you spot a villain. Let us be off quickly. This is a terrible plot.”
Up and down. Back and forth. Ever vigilant. Sea dog Puppy patrols the docks. “Wait. These are the miscreants. I must trail them to the warehouse. Easy Puppy. You can’t get spotted.” Sammy and the Choonies follow behind. At the hideout, the conspirators pause and look carefully around for trouble. “Hey fellows. That Puppy looks familiar. See his bushy tail? He has been trailing us. It is our ball playing friend. Get him lads!” Puppy is off with little legs churning and toenails clicking on the paving stones like a runaway Spanish dancer. “Puff, puff, puff, puff. Look at Puppy go. But oh oh. They are on the docks close to the water and he is trapped by the sea. “We have him cornered. Close in.” But he is Super Puppy. Secret Agent. He dashes to the edge and launches himself from the dock into the deep harbor. “Good riddance to that little sneak. He is just a little dog and he will not escape from there. Let the little scoundrel drown. Back to the hideout lads. There are many Euros to be had. We must prepare for doughnut Armageddon.”
How could these ruffians know? He is Puppy McDonut, our little dog with a big heart. He paddles like a wild beast, churning like an otter. Go Puppy go! Few would believe it. He is at the beach, hurtling up the sand. Look to the left. Look to the right. “There it is. The Police Station. Mommy and I were at this beach when I was just a little pup.” He bursts into the room to the astonishment of everyone. “Officer, officer. Bark, bark, bark.” “What is this? What is a sea dog doing in my precinct? Shoo! Shoo!” “No, wait Sargeant. This is Puppy McDonut. My children love his stories.” “Arf, arf. Yes. Let’s go.” He rips out the door and back towards the harbor. “Follow that Puppy! This must be important. Puppy McDonut is a good dog!”
Meanwhile, Sammy and the Choonies have been casing the joint, unaware of Puppy’s dilemma. “The scoundrels are here. But where is Puppy? Watch them carefully. They are a slippery bunch. We must be sure that these reprobates don’t move. Puppy is full of determination. The harbor will not be a problem for this brave one. We will keep them here until the Puppy returns. There has been a steady stream of trucks bringing counterfeit doughnuts. We cannot let a single one of these be foisted on the public.” Sammy has climbed a tree and is looking through an open window. The Choonies are spread at each corner of the building, ever alert. But something is wrong. Sammy spots suspicious movement inside. “Oh no. The first trucks will soon be moving. What to do? Wait. I have it.” He scurries to the ledge above the door. With a mighty chomp, he bites through a cable to the alarm. “Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo. Clang, clang, clang clang,” says the alarm. Over and over and over again. The villains rush to the door. “What rotten luck. Why is it doing this? Quickly. Shut it down.” Just then the frantic Choonies converge from every corner. Bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk. Each one of them bounces off of the ruffians. They spring to their feet and in the confusion they break out in the Choonie-Moonie silly dance. “I want to smack these little fur balls, but this is so funny. Har, har, har, har. Look at these silly monkeys. Ha, ha, ha, ha. They crack me up.” In the meantime, Sammy has been wrapping the alarm cable around the howling bodyguards. And what is this? Sirens as well. It is Puppy with the cavalry. The villains try to flee the mayhem, but Sammy has them hogtied. “Bark, bark, bark, bark. These are the ones, officers. Arrest these bounders. Now where is my ball?” And sure enough, still resting in the back of the loot truck is Puppy’s Stealth Ball 5000. What a joyful reunion! A smashing success! “Let’s play Choonies.” You can be sure we will be hearing from our valiant spies again. The End.
