About Rock Modo
Buenos dias from beautiful Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Rock Modo is me, Michael, with help from some talented pros in the recording environment. This song is from a CD titled Alien at the Wheel. This is not my living, rather a creative outlet that has dogged me all my life. However, I can misbehave as badly as any professional, given the opportunity.
We are currently working on a 6 song EP for rele ... read more
Posted at 2020-03-23
Posted at 2020-03-23
Not a lot to add, so here is another in the little stories of the Snoop McDonut family. Hoping everyone is keeping healthy and not getting too badly stung by surprise unemployment. This too will pass, but it is hardship for too many people. I hope Mr. Trump and his people are learning how interconnected the world really is. Song is a demo I did a couple of hundred years ago. It is a bit wimpy, but we all have these moments of reflection. Thanks y'all.
"Puppy and Coyote Visit Chernobyl"
Snoop Annie and Misha McDonut are in Kiev to enjoy the pleasant summer days and to bake special treats for the busy Snoop McDonuts cafe in the heart of this great city. And special appearances by Puppy and Coyote, Pink Kitten and Yellow Kitten and of course, the majestic Choonie-Moonies are always wildly popular with children, while enjoying their tasty McDonut treats. About 134 kilometres from Kiev is Chernobyl. More than 30 years have passed since the Chernobyl disaster. Because of radiation, there is an exclusion zone of over 1,000 square miles around the center. But lack of humans has allowed many of our fine animals to return and thrive, including deer, bears, wild piggies, elk, moose, bison, horses, fox and even wild cats and wild dogs. But no elephants.........not yet! So much life has returned to redeem the disaster. But it is the cunning wolves that have truly thrived. Wolves are said to be perhaps 10 times as many as before the tragedy. What blackguards we humans can be.
Annie and Misha have heard much about this revival of nature and plan to visit with the two pups. The area is quite deserted and perhaps dangerous, but fine for short periods of time. Few humans have remained or moved back in, so this wild country belongs to the creatures of the forest. Pink Kitten and Yellow Kitten must stay behind. The forest is not a good place for kittens. Wolves are very large wild dogs and they would not respect these special kittens, like Puppy and Coyote do. And our kittens are so curious by nature and temperament. They will stay with the Choonies who grumble, “Bah, wolves. You can’t trust them. We are not enemies, but never friends. I tell you, reprobates every one of them. Any nonsense and they will answer to us.” “Of course Choonies. Have a nice day with the kittens. We understand your ancient bond with the forest.”
Annie and Misha have motorcycles with little sidecars for Puppy and Coyote. The fresh air of the forest will be perfect. “With luck you might meet your ancestors, rascals.” “Not I,” says Coyote. “Mine are mighty hunters from the plains of Africa.” “Yes, yes, Coyote. You are a wild beast. Of course dear.” “Aroooooooh! Wolves beware. Here comes Coyote.” “Quiet Coyote,” say the neighbors. You are a dear, but what a nuisance you can be.” Puppy is pensive. “Are we safe Mommy? My doggy friends tell me that these wolves are scary and dangerous.” “Don’t worry Puppy. You are safe in your sidecar. And we have yummy snacks.” “All right,” bark the Puppies. “Why didn’t you say so? Onward ho!”
Annie and Misha pack up and begin their journey. Goodness it is nice in the open air. But sooner or later they all need to pee. No matter how short the journey, it is the same all over the world. They are in the heart of nature far from the city. They see a quiet little brook by the woods. It is a must stop opportunity. The grass is beautiful and lush. There are so many colors from wild flowers. Annie and Misha will explore and the Puppies must stay in the sidecars. In these parts, where there is forest, there are wolves. They are as frisky and curious as that naughty Coyote. Coyote has an incredible sense of smell and warns Puppy, “These woods are alive with strangers. We will stay. Perhaps Annie and Misha will leave us a nice snack.” “Yes children. How cute they are in their sidecars with their little Puppy helmets.”
Wolves are very stealthy. They sneak up silently in the woods. “Who are these bold little puppies who dare enter our territory? We must find out. We will wait until the humans leave.” When Annie and Misha saunter off, the pack runs quickly to the sidecars, perplexed by these two little dogs. They sniff wildly. Coyotes do not live in the forests of Europe, so they are very curious about her. “Who are you, shaggy little pup? What are you doing in our territory?” “I am Coyote, a wild beast and a fierce hunter. Who are you reprobates?” “We are the wolf pack. We own this forest. I am the alpha male and this is my mate.” “You should be glad I am not staying, or there would be a new leader in this forest,” huffs Coyote. “Ha, ha, ha. You are a bold little scoundrel,” says the alpha male. “You amuse me very much. Good thing you are just a little pup, fierce one..........ha, ha, ha, ha.”
“And who is this? What a cute little lad you are. Goodness,” says the alpha female. “He looks so much like Puppy McDonut. Our puppies love his stories. But it can’t be Puppy here. He is a big star. We saw him on the Oprah show.” “Bark, bark, bark. Of course I am Puppy McDonut. Look at my cute little ears and my lustrous full tail.” “This is wondrous. Get the children, Rufus,” for this is the name of the alpha male. “How they will love this. Puppy McDonut here? They must have his pawprint.”
The wolf puppies are beyond excitement. Puppy McDonut is a hero to all canine puppies of the world, justifiably famous for his adventures and because he is such a good dog. Puppy and the wolf children run and run and run. Oh what fun! How they play. “Harumph,” says Coyote, a word she has learned from the Choonies. “What a waste of energy when there is a coyote present. Such a scamp you are Puppy.” The wolf children run and spin and tumble with Puppy, rolling and playing and jumping like all little dogs do. What a wonderful scene! They use so much energy that eventually they flop down in the soft grass, panting and smiling in joy at their new friendship. The pack is very pleased and they exclaim, “You’re such a good dog Puppy McDonut. Not a snob like other stars. Bravo!”
Poor Misha and Annie. They rush back when they hear this cacophony. There is Coyote in her sidecar chatting imperiously with the wolves of Chernobyl about her life in the mountains of Canada. The wolves are howling (with laughter) at her outrageous boasts. What a scamp, this Coyote. And Puppy. Where is Puppy? “Our Puppy is gone.” But no. There he is napping by the stream with his new wolf puppy friends. “What a picture this will be. How do these rascals do it? What amazing children we have.” “Ah, Annie and Misha,” barks Coyote. “Snacks for my new friends.” Such a royal coyote. “You are lucky this time Coyote. We have packed plenty of McDonuts for our journey.” “Goodness. Are these McDonuts, the world’s best? Everyone has heard of these, even in the forest. Dig in my hearties,” says the alpha wolf, because after all, they are the pirates of the forest. “We will take some for this napping gang of puppies. Every child loves a delicious McDonut snack,” says Annie. The puppies have played themselves out, but eagerly munch their treats. “This is my Mommy,” says Puppy. “She makes the tastiest snacks. “ “Thank you Puppy’s Mommy,” say the little wolves. “We love your snacks.” “Back to sleep little rascals. We have plenty of time for our journey. The summer days are long in our forests.” And soon the meadow echoes with little puppy snores. How sweet! “Misha and I will continue our walk, dear wolves, if you can tolerate this coyote bragging for another hour?” “No no,” says the alpha male. “She is a fine storyteller. Let her continue.” “You see Annie,” says Coyote. “All the animals of the forest sense my greatness.” “Oh how the wolves howl with laughter. Such an entertainer! Such a Coyote!
Annie and Misha wander hand in hand through the perfect meadow with fragrant grasses and wild flowers. The woods are so fresh and clean. What a wonderful day! But the shadows lengthen and the humans must head back to their gang. “It has been so perfect that we forgot about time. We will need to return later to continue our journey. Hello everyone. What a day. What a special forest you have wolves. Thank you for your hospitality to our dear puppies.” “And thank you for the opportunity to savor the legendary McDonut. We will tell this tale for many generations to come.”
“Ha. They will pass down many stories about the day they met Coyote,” says this smiling vagabond. “Aroooooh. Aroooooh.” “Aroooooh. Aroooooh,” answer the wolf pack. Such entertainers! “You are always welcome to visit and you shall always be safe in our forest. Hooray for Coyote. Hooray for Puppy. Thank you for this special day.” Vrooom. Vrooom. Vroooom. Off they go to the howls of their new friends. “You see you two. You have finally met your ancestors. What a special trip this was.” “Bah,” says Coyote. “They are merely saluting their new Queen.” The End
Posted at 2020-03-06
Posted at 2020-03-06
Here is a fuller version of this little silly tale. Pardon my indulgence, but I have spent enough time on this little world that it might as well be out there. Attached song, "I'm Ready" has been on here for quite a while, but it probably isn't the worst song that I have written. Thanks for listening.
Choonie-Moonies and the Snoop Donut Affair
I have sketched the plot outline for that future hit movie "Choonie - Moonies and the Snoop Donut Affair." Princess Milena has been kidnapped along with her favorite work boot (see photo). She is no ordinary kitten. She is destined to be Queen of the Kittens. Oligarchs have sent their bodyguards to take this special kitten. They plot to put the pretender, evil Prince Vlad on the throne. He will convince children everywhere that donuts are bad. Oligarchs will then control all the donuts and soon the Police will be under their thumbs. These ruffians have been very upset at their failure to gain control of this special Snoop McDonut café. It is a favorite of the famous and powerful, but more important are the smiles of the happy, happy children when they bite into their delicious McDonut. Oligarchs are certainly rich and powerful but the world knows that they are total scoundrels and denies them the prestige that they so crave. Annie and Misha will never sell! Hence these dastardly plots for total domination. Milena's mother, Queen Annushka has come to Snoop Mc Donuts to ask the Choonie - Moonies to help free Princess Milena and foil this terrible plot. When the Choonie-Moonies first began working at Snoop McDonuts, they were a major sensation. After all, they were the first of the ancient forest creatures proven to exist. Are they the last of their kind? We don’t know and the Choonies certainly aren’t saying. Choonie-Moonies are legendary creatures of the woods and hills and guardians of the land. Because of this timeless connection, they can sense disturbances in the rhythm of the countryside. There has been no word of the Kitten Princess despite the frantic search. Perhaps the Choonies can form their mystical circle and ask their question to all living things? “Where is Princess Milena? Her mother is so worried.” Once again Oligarchs plot against the natural order of things. If there is ever to be harmony between the humans with their infernal cities and the timeless country, then this evil must always be opposed. Of this, all creatures are certain and they promise to begin the watch for the thugs who have snatched Princess Milena.
Very little can escape the notice of the wild creatures if they have been alerted to the presence of villains. Soon the Choonies receive a special telepathic message from the wolves of Chernobyl. “Deep in the forest at the northern edge of our territory is an abandoned farm that has been free of the stink of humans for many years. These scoundrels presume to hide from us. What amateurs! It is so easy to detect their blundering and the pitiful sound of a kitten in distress. Such pathetic bullies. They had the nerve to shoot at us as we observed this charade. Hah! Might as well try to stop the rain by shouting at the sky. We are the wolves of Chernobyl and we will help in any way we can to thwart these miscreants and rescue this innocent kitten. Come to the clearing by the brook on the side road through the weeping forest. Puppy and Coyote know where this is. Together we will repel and embarrass these upstarts. Scoundrels!”
To further the cause, Annie and Misha McDonut will create the most delicious doughnut in the history of the World, so children everywhere will continue to love this special treat. But first they volunteer to provide transportation. They own a custom Stealth Lada gifted to them by President Putin in appreciation of his very favorite treat. Time is wasting, so it is quickly into the Lada, without even a pause to make snacks. The security of the kitten throne is important to the whole nation. What a sight, this jeep full of exotic puppies and Choonie-Moonies. The Lada purrs like a happy kitten as the little dogs guide them towards their rendezvous. Chernobyl is largely deserted now following the tragedy and many roads are overgrown, but with the power of this special jeep and the razor instincts of Puppy and Coyote they soon find the restless wolf pack by their peaceful brook. Puppy and Coyote are in touch with their inner wild beast, so it is child’s play for these two adventurers. “Hello old friends. It is good to see you. Let us be off quickly. What a lesson we will teach those reprobates. But what’s this? Choonie-Moonies? You are even bigger scoundrels than the Oligarchs, hehehe.” “Bah. Wolves. What a disaster this will be.” “Now you wild bunch. Surely you can work together to protect the kitten throne?” “Fine Annie. Let’s be off. We will settle our differences later.” But they are not natural enemies and the teasing is good natured.
The wolves know every blade of grass in their territory and before long they are in the cover of the deep woods looking out at the old farmhouse. “We must have a plan to flush these villains out of hiding. Then we will pick them off one at a time. They will forget about the Princess and we will spirit her away to rejoin her mother. We need someone to scout the layout. None of us can get close enough without bloodshed.” “Nonsense,” says Coyote. “I will simply saunter up and call these bezonians out. They will bow before their superior like the craven dogs that they are.” “Ha, ha, ha, ha. What an entertainer you are, Coyote. Come now. Let’s be serious.” “I will do it,” pipes up a chubby creature from the underbrush. Let no one say that Woodchuck did not do his part.” “You are nothing but a rotund little rodent. What do you know that a mighty Coyote has not mastered?” “And what are you, you great shaggy buffoon,” mutters Woodchuck. “How dare you,” sputters Coyote. “I shall come over there and eat you.” “You are welcome to try braggart. I will box your pointy ears for you.” “Now, now, now,” admonish the Choonies. “Pipe down Coyote. Let this brave one do his duty.” “Haruuuumph, we are in for it now,” complains Coyote. “Never fear. Woodchuck is the man for this job.”
Woodchuck calmly waddles off in the direction of the overgrown farmyard. He is a bold one, this scamp. “Hmm. There are snacks on this picnic table. Might as well have a nibble. This reconnoitering is hungry work.” He hoists himself up and begins munching on yummy cheese. “Hey you.” One of the villains has spotted him. “Look at this chubby rodent. Come here fellows. He is kind of cute. It is okay little fellow. We have plenty of cheese. Har, har, har.” He reaches over to scratch Woodchuck’s head, but oh oh, this is still a wild animal. Chomp, chomp on a finger and the scoundrel is yelling, “Oweeee guys. This little monster bit me!” The bodyguards are distracted. With their natural cunning, the wolves seize the moment. They attack in a frenzy of howling and growling. “Wolves. Run for your lives lads. They mean business.” They lock themselves in their jeep and flee in panic. Bullies are really cowards and they have been completely surprised.
“Quickly my brothers. Find Princess Milena and we will be off from here. And there she is in a back room looking sad and lonely. Poor baby! “Choonie-Moonies! I am saved! Meow, meow, meow, meow! Thank you ancient heroes.” “We are here to return you to your Mommy. Come with us sweetheart.” “Well done wolves,” the Choonies grudgingly admit. “But we still don’t trust you.” “And you Choonies are such sneaks. I am sure you helped President Trump write the Art of the Deal…..hehehe! But never mind……a truce for now. This brave Woodchuck is the real hero. Let us howl to our success. “Aroooooooooooh! Aroooooooooogh! Aroooooooooogh! Aroooooooooogh! Farewell Choonies. Farewell Puppy and Coyote. Such good dogs you are.” Farewell wolves. Well done Woodchuck!” And they are all into the jeep and silently off towards the city.
So after their daring adventures, Princess Milena is freed by the Choonie – Moonies. The oligarchs are defeated. Police everywhere are free to do their jobs. And Snoop Annie and Misha McDonut will win the Nobel Prize for donuts. Lastly, Annie and Misha will be granted their very special Pink Kitten and Yellow Kitten for service to felines of every kind. And there in black and white, spread across the front page of Pravda is the proof. “Princess Milena Freed! Oligarchs Thwarted! Justice Prevails! Take That You Blackguards!” The End.
And thus continues the age old struggle of good against evil.
Posted at 2020-02-20
Posted at 2020-02-20
Another of these silly little stories about the legendary Choonie-Moonies, the first of the forest creatures to be proven to exist outside of legend and myth.......hahaha. Attached song is a demo only. I have nothing new to upload. Ah well. Hope it has been a nice 2020 so far. Thanks for listening. Modo.
Choonie-Moonies Teleport to the Moon
Few remember the early days of the Space Race and the excitement generated by the Space Program. Those were heady times and countless youngsters dreamed of being the next brave and hardy cosmonaut to fly into outer space. The Choonie-Moonies are ancient creatures, but they are deep patriots, because the Old Gods have appointed them as guardians of the forest and farmland. Thus the Choonies are tied in spirit to the very soil and hearth of the country of their birth. It was from this sense of duty that they became amongst the first and bravest of the earliest cosmonauts.
Choonies are particularly suited for the rigors of space travel. They are small and flexible and their fur gives them a distinct advantage in the deep cold of the cosmos. When they volunteered, it was no surprise that the authorities gave them a warm welcome and an honored place in the Corps. Choonies manned many dangerous flights and even cavorted on the face of the Moon, which is the home of Luna, their own patron and special Goddess. What times those were! When they retired to much acclaim, they were granted many honors, including the keeping of their little custom space suits and helmets. As such, they are in no way jealous of the kitten's little custom ski suits, which so upset that rascal coyote. "But Coyote. You are a creature of the forest. You do not need a snowsuit. What a scoundrel you are. Behave!"
The Choonie-Moonies have just travelled from the city to Baba's house in their beloved countryside, with the two Uncles. On the return trip they notice that the crops are looking rather sad. "Uncles. Look at the crops. They look so unhappy. Do you know why dear Uncles?" "There was strange weather all summer. Too wet and then too dry. We need the land to dry and some sunshine to ripen the grain. Then we could have a perfect wheat crop. Otherwise it could be very bad. Baba has said that without a change there would be a bread shortage and hardship in the country. There will be no wheat for flour." The Choonies are perplexed. The World's Most Wonderful Snoop McDonut can only be baked to perfection with golden Ukrainian wheat. There will be no McDonuts, no smiling children. No happy faces to greet Choonies at their work. Disaster! There have been many plots to spoil the success of Snoop McDonuts, but now nature might complete the dirty work of the Oligarchs. The Choonies are stricken. "We must help!
The Choonies whisper amongst themselves. "Oh dear. How do we contact the Ancient Goddess? She will know what to do. The old days are so forgotten that she has retreated to her castle on the Moon." "What are you bunch muttering about," say the Uncles. "I hope you peed at Baba's house. We will not be repeating that debacle from the way here, you little scoundrels." "Yes, yes, Uncles. We peed. We are good travellers. Please carry on to our McDonut house. Nothing to worry about."
"We must think carefully. When we are home, we will make a plan to solve this terrible problem." Everyone arrives at the McDonut house and the Choonies pile out into the street. "Off you go rascals. Behave and see that your brothers and sisters are all right. Annie and Misha will be home soon. Now off you go." The Choonies enter and run to the den. They form the ancient circle and begin their planning. "We must solve this brothers. The ancient ways are gone. We cannot live in the forest. And we love Annie and Misha. We love our little home. Pink Kitten and Yellow Kitten are such wonders. And you're such a good dog, Puppy McDonut. Even that nuisance coyote is our sister now and we must protect her from her mischief. If there is no flour, there will be no Snoop McDonuts. We will lose our jobs. The children of the world will be so sad that this delicious treat is gone. There is only one solution. We must seek the ancient Goddess." "But she is on the Moon. How could we possibly find her?" "You forget brother. We are cosmonauts. We still have our little space suits. We can test that they still work. Annie and Misha will not need the teleport. We will fly to the moon and find the Ancient Goddess. She will bless the harvest and everything will be saved." "Hooray, hooray! To the Moon! Hurray, hooray. To the Moon!" Off they go to test their gear.
"Perhaps we should ask Annie and Misha?" "No. We have no time to lose. Our family depends on this and the very earth that sustains us. Please check your space suits." Each of the Choonies pulls their little suit off the mannequin where it is carefully and proudly displayed in their little rooms. Oh no! Only 3 of the suits still fit or work properly. "Don't worry," says Frumpbart, their leader. You three will wear your suits and walk on the Moon. I will fly the teleport and we will look for her Majesty's castle so we may land close enough." Choonies can see the invisible lights that guide her because we are of the ancient ones. "But please pee, you imps, before you put on your spacesuits. You can't have forgotten that debacle from our last trip to the Moon?"
The Choonies pee and flush diligently, before donning their custom suits. "Quickly!" To the teleport! You two try to distract Annie and Misha. We are sorry. Choonies can't lie, but we must do this." And off they go into the McDonut teleport. The Choonies, having been cosmonauts, know well the function of this device. They choose their destination on the Modo Map and then push the big red button. "Strap in my brothers and I will launch this beast." Frumpbart pulls the big silver lever back and with a whoosh and a froosh and a rumble, the teleport disappears into the haze of the future. The journey is not a long one. As they approach the Moon, Frumpbart eases the go lever back so that they might slow and search for the invisible light of Luna's Castle. "There it is to the west. Our patron always loved the west, where sunset is the latest. Let us land nearby."
"Boom, boom thump, thump, settle," goes the teleport. Frumpbart was a leading cosmonaut, but it has been many years since he has flown in space. "Are we all right?" "Yes, my leader. Let us depart. We must save the harvest." And off they go, bouncing delightfully in their own Choonie-Moonie way. How wonderful! It has been 50 years since they walked the soil of their patron and they are giggling and bouncing around like mad things. Frumpbart must remind them on the intercom, "Please my brave ones. We have an important mission. On to her Majesty's castle.
Sure enough, they are very quickly at the gates. "We must look for the bell. Oh my. I hope that the Goddess is home." "Hello my ancient friends. Of course I am always home for you. Goodness. What a surprise! The old ways are almost gone. I never expected to see any of my Choonie-Moonies again once the space program had ended. You are so welcome here. Please relax and I will float you up." Soon enough, in a mystical haze, they find themselves floating and landing in a beautiful chamber covered in priceless rugs, tapestries and hangings. The walls glow with a soft light. "To what do I owe such a visit from my old followers?"
The Choonies begin excitedly chattering all at once, as they usually do. "Please, please. Calmly my brave ones. What is it?" "Your Highness, we are just back from the country and the season has been possessed. The crops are on the brink of disaster. If the wheat fails, there will be no flour. The children will go to bed hungry. And there will be no Snoop McDonuts. The poor children will no longer delight at the taste of the World's Most Delicious Treat. And we will lose our jobs. We cannot go back to the forest. We love our little house and our McDonut family so much. And who will save that scoundrel coyote? Please, please, your Majesty. Can you help?"
"I see my dears. It is a long and dangerous journey you have made to ask the Ancient Goddess for help and I still have some small influence upon the Earth. It is good to know that someone on the ancient planet remembers Luna, guardian of the forest and harvest. I will do what I can. Your story touches me. And I know of Snoop McDonuts of course, now that it has been decreed as the tastiest donut in the Whole Universe. It would be shameful to lose such a treasure. I have only one request. You must say your prayers each day in the ancient way. But the last time you were on my moon, some of you peed. Please respect my land you little imps. Please wait until you are in your ship"
"We are so sorry your Highness. We confess. Each of us peed on your Moon. The journey was so long and we were too excited to pee before we entered our little space suits. "Well pinch it off my brave ones until you are aboard ship. It is a small thing to ask. ." "Yes highness. We are so sorry." "Well off then you little scallywags. It was a treat to see you. Visit again, now that you have a teleport. It is lonely sometimes in this giant Moon castle." "We love you ancient Goddess. Thank you so, so much."
And off they wildly bolt towards the ship, because each of them need to pee so badly again. Such rascals! They quickly do their business in the teleport and then fasten into their seats. "We must hurry back lads. We have commandeered the teleport and I dread that Annie and Misha might fire us. It breaks my heart to think it, but we had to do this."
And then they were home. When the door opens, they are startled to see Annie and all of the children waiting for them. The McDonuts are taken aback as well at the little aliens stepping out in their space suits. "Oh no! What have you done with our Choonies? This is terrible! "No, no Annie! Please children. It is us! We are so sorry. We had to go to the Moon. The crops are so sad. If our Goddess did not help us, there would be no crop. Snoop McDonuts would close. We would lose our jobs! Please do not fire us Annie. We are so sorry."
"Oh my goodness my darling Choonies. Bless you my children. We thought that you knew. Thank you so much for saving the harvest. You are true heroes. But you will always have jobs. You are part of our family now. Yellow Kitten and Pink Kitten love you so much. Our Puppy McDonut adores you. And who will save that scoundrel coyote if you are not here? The children at Snoop McDonuts love you so much. We all love you very much my Choonies. Without you we would no longer be the McDonut family. Thank you for the brave thing that you have done, my children. Snoop McDonuts and the McDonut family will stay strong thanks to our little heroes. "
"Yippee," say the Choonie-Moonies. “Bark, bark, bark," says Puppy. "Yippee," says Annie. "My heroes are all back safely. We were so worried. Now we are together again, the Snoop McDonut family. Bless you Choonies. Time for snacks everyone." The End.
Posted at 2020-02-04
Posted at 2020-02-04
I have half a dozen adventures with the Choonie-Moonies that I will begin loading, rather than write a real newsletter. Forgive my laziness. In the next month or so Richard Thurlbeck of Vancouver, Canada will complete another video for one of my studio tunes, "Don't Think Just Do." It looks pretty amusing from the first clip I have seen. Have also attached another studio tune "Bombay." Our Alberta winters are miserable, so I often daydream of warm escapes.
Choonie-Moonies appear only to be mischief makers who tease puppies and kittens and steal your leftover pizza. But they are much more than this and they honor their place in the ancient order as guardians of the harvest and friends to farmers everywhere. They are also happy workers at Snoop McDonuts with Annie and Misha because they love to see the smiles on children’s faces when they bite into the “tastiest donuts in the entire Universe.” This is a story of how they fulfilled their duty, yet still created the mischief they are famous for.
The Uncles were headed to the country to visit friends and family. The choonie-moonies were so excited, as it was autumn, their favorite time. “Us too, us too,” said the choonie-moonies. The uncles consider and finally uncle #1 says, “Oh well. What can it hurt? But you must all pee first. I will not stop for you to pee in the bushes and then have you run into the fields like wild rodents. We must see our Granny today, you silly rascals.”
Goodness what a scene! Choonie-Moonies dancing like drunken hobbits in their joy to see the countryside again. “Please, please,” said the Uncles. “We will have to leave without you. Go pee now!” Such naughty ones. They are much too excited to pee and end up crawling all over the fixtures instead of doing their business. “Hey in there. Please flush and we must go. What a racket!” Out they tumble in a ball of fur chanting, “to the country, oh boy. To the country, oh boy.” “I am regretting this already,” says Uncle #1.
The poor neighbors look with concern as this wild bunch clambers into the back of the jeep. “The police will be here again. Mark my words. What rascals.” The poor Uncles shrug sadly and nod as they drive towards the countryside. Soon the Choonie-Moonies are squirming around and the little jeep is rocking. “Settle down you bunch. You promised to behave.” “But Uncles. We need to pee so badly. Please!”
“Aargh! You promised! What mischief is this? What were you doing in the loo?” “We are really sorry Uncles. We were much too excited to pee. Please help us!” “Fine. We will find some bushes. This is the country you munchkins. There are no gas stops here. But please be quick. We must see Granny today.” “Oh yes Uncles. We promise.”
Choonie-Moonies mean well and their intention is good, but they are much too excitable. The Uncles see a bush and pull over for their passengers. The naughty ones pile out and run into the trees, finding shelter where they might do their business. The choonie-moonies finish, but they cannot contain themselves. They run wildly into the forest dancing and spinning in their joy to be back in the country. Suddenly at the edge of the field, they stop. “Shhh. Did you hear that? It is kittens. We will have so much fun teasing them. Let’s follow that sound.”
There in the thick wheat is a little opening where they see a pathetic sight. The poor little ones are in a furry bundle mewling terribly. “Where is our Mommy? Oh dear, where is our Mommy?” The choonie-moonies see that their fun has been spoiled. “They have lost their Mommy. Goodness little ones. What has happened to your Mommy?” The boldest little kitten steps forward from the fur ball and says, “Bad men captured us and put us in a sack and here we are. Oh my. What will happen to us?” The choonies are appalled. It is true that they enjoy teasing puppies and kittens, but they are really soft hearted. “This is terrible. How could bad men do this to these poor innocents? Quickly. We must find the Uncles. They will know what to do.”
The choonie-moonies each take a kitten and tuck it in their fur and hurry back on the path they came. “Be still little ones. We will help. Where oh where are those Uncles?” Further on towards the road, the two Uncles are shouting as well. “Come back here. Where are you little monsters?” Just then the frantic choonies round the corner and bump into the Uncles. Suddenly we have kittens and Uncles and Choonies spilling everywhere. “What have you been doing you silly ones? Can’t you pee near the road?” But the choonies are very clever. “No Uncles please. We heard kittens and we ran to rescue them. Bad men have stolen them from their Mommy. See!” “Goodness. Who would do such a thing? They are even worse than you little scoundrels. Come along. Don’t cry little ones. Our Baba knows every cat for miles around. She will find your Mommy.”
What a ride! Choonie-moonies cooing softly. Kittens mewling for their Mommy. The poor Uncles trying to shush this symphony. “Here is the turn to Granny’s. Thank goodness we are here. What a performance!”
Granny is on the porch enjoying the afternoon breeze with a cup of tea. All the doors of the jeep open suddenly and everyone piles out talking at once. “Please, please. One at a time. It was so peaceful only a moment ago.”
“Baba, baba. These kittens have been kidnapped. We were sure that you could help.” “Of course sillies. Bring them in. Look, the poor things are starving. Let me make some warm milk. Stop this fuss right now. Poor babies.” Soon the hungry ones are slurping up their milk. “Now lads. Tell your story.” The Uncles repeat the misadventures of the choonie-moonies and wait breathlessly for Baba to speak. “Do you know their Mommy? Shall we drive to your neighbors and ask everyone?” “What a foolish idea. I will fetch my IPad. We have a website named Kitten Watch. Drive Uncles? We have too many neighbors. You are so old fashioned. We will take a picture of these pretties and we will wait for a reaction.”
Granny brings her IPad, but all of the kittens are curled up beside their bowls sleeping. “Goodness says Granny. How cute. This will be easy!”
“Now everyone. Let us enjoy the breeze. I will make more tea and we will wait.” It is not very long later when “beep beep dong,” says the IPad. “See everyone how easy it is. The neighbor has been frantic. She will fetch their Mommy and come over for her kittens at once.”
And sure enough, a Lada pulls up and out bounds a black and white spotted kitty. Everyone drives Ladas in the country because it is important to have only the best. “In here dear,” says Granny. Sure enough, these are her kittens. What a wonderful reunion! The happy neighbor explains that there have been so many kitten thefts since bad men began making war on the country. “Well you have the choonie-moonies to thank Irina. They have fulfilled their duty.” The choonies are so proud. “We will never tease kittens again......’til the next time....hehehe. But Granny. We are so hungry after our adventure. Could we have perogies?” “All right you little imps. You have done well. I will make perogies.” “We love the country, oh boy. We love perogies, oh boy.” It is a happy ending for everyone.
“But don’t forget to pee before we leave for the city. What rascals!” say the Uncles.
Posted at 2020-01-17
Posted at 2020-01-17
I have nothing to add to the musical story, but here is another McDonut tale. I am trying to establish a creation myth for this little household that explains where each of the little rascals came from. It makes this world real in my head and each story gets easier to write. All silly of course, but still more believable than the ridiculous state of world affairs, with the cast of clowns we have running the show.
Have attached the home demo of the song, " Don't Think Just Do," which we used as a template before adding sounds in the studio. The other musicians contributed mightily to the final studio version, which is also loaded on this site. It demonstrates a little how these things evolve beyond my first crude scratching and a professional product. Thanks for listening.
It had been snowing for days in our old Alberta home. The family had been sitting in front of the fireplace eating popcorn, but everyone was a little restless. “Come children. Let’s do something fun. We will go snowshoeing in the mountain country. Now who likes that idea?” Pink kitten and yellow kitten are very excited. “Meow, meow, meow, meow. Oh boy. Yippee!” The choonie-moonies are not so sure. “But Misha. We will get ice in our fur. We hate that.” “But you are creatures of the forest. Such lazy ones. That is fine. You can stay and tend the fire.” Puppy also lingers. “What is it puppy?” “Please Misha. I am just a little dog. What if I get lost under the snow?” “We will take care of you Puppy McDonut.” “Please Daddy. Can I stay with the choonies? The fire is warm and my nap will be so wonderful!” “That is fine puppy. You are in good hands with these rascals”
Annie and Misha put drinks and little snacks in the pack and dress the kittens. The kittens love their little matching ski suits. The snow is very deep, but Annie and Misha have a Lada jeep, so they can drive anywhere. They go deep into the mountains looking for the trail. “There it is. Hooray!” Annie and Misha load up the kittens and hit the trail. The snow is very thick, so the snowshoe journey is very slow. Pink kitten and yellow kitten love riding in the backpack in their warm little snowsuits and studying the forest from their perch. They lick little flakes of snow with their pink tongues as it flutters down. Deep in the bushes, Annie and Misha find a shelter to stop for snacks. “Here we are kittens. It is time for our little feast. We have worked hard for it.” “Meow, meow, meow. Oh boy. Donuts!”
Everyone sits and they unpack snacks and kittens and adults munch happily on delicious McDonuts and tea. The kittens notice first. “Look Mommy and Daddy. What is it?” The snow barely moves, but something is burrowing through. It cannot be a rabbit. Suddenly a little black nose pops out of the snow as she smells donuts. Goodness! The tiniest black nose and a fuzzy face. It is a wee coyote. The bold little rascal has wandered away from the den. This silly one is lost. She eagerly eats some donut and water. The little pup is so wet and ragged. She will never find the den and will freeze or starve. Annie wraps her up in a flannel shirt and stuffs her in between the snug kittens. She mewls twice, yawns and immediately falls asleep. She is so tired from her struggle. Everyone finishes their snacks. Annie says, “What a cute little imp. I suppose we must take her home.”
Poor little one is completely done. She does not even stir as Annie and Misha make the long tromp back. Pink kitten and yellow kitten snuggle close so that she will stay warm and not be frightened. When they reach the Lada, coyote still sleeps unstirring, so they put the little pack between them and drive to Calgary. At the McDonut house, they put their little runaway in front of the fire. The choonies are so excited. “She is one of the ancient ones. We love her so much. My, she is so cute and fluffy. Can we keep her? We must all take care of her.” They make her a little nest. She snuggles between pink kitten and yellow kitten, sleeping on her back with little snores and all four little pink paws in the air. So cute! “Tomorrow we will think about what we must do with her.”
Next morning she is rummaging about like a little bandit. Pink kitten and yellow kitten guide her around the house and push her out of trouble. Puppy is still tiny as well, but he is not so sure about this one. “She is big trouble Annie. Wait and see!”
“We must give her a bath and take her to the vet. She will know what to do.” They bathe and dry her. Oh what a cute, fuzzy little furball with her black, black nose and blue eyes. “Come now. We will wrap you up after you finish your snack and take you to the vet. Coyote is the star of the clinic. What a little darling! The vet checks her with a little stethoscope and says, ”This one is as healthy as can be. But she needs love and care. She will miss her brothers and sisters so much, but you have such a nice little family. And she seems so happy with the kittens.” “But she is a wild animal,” says Annie. “No Annie, she is just a pup and if you have room for this little one, you will give her a wonderful home.” “You are right “says Annie. Everyone already loves her so much and she will be a welcome member of our household.” And that is how we got our Coyote McDonut.
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